A Day on the Set of Gundam Wing
by Morrigan428
Summary: Strangeness and silliness ensue when Heero isn't feeling too well during the filming of an episode of Gundam Wing


A Day on the Set of Gundam Wing

DISCLAIMER: I don't own GW in any way or Darkwing Duck (which is where the other thing implied in here is from). Disney owns Darkwing Duck and I don't know who owns GW. Sorry! I'm making no $$$ off this and no insult is intended to either show through this writing. Please don't sue me. I'm just a woman with a VERY weird sense of humor and I have no money. So all you'll get is jellybeans.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: No pairings are intended to be implied in this fic. All things in ( ) are the author's notes. Archive if you wish...  
  
WARNINGS: AU, non-yaoi, VERY OOC, and VERY INSANE!  
  
  
A DAY ON THE SET OF GUNDAM WING  
  
FLASHBACK (or what you did see on screen): Episode 44  
  
SCENE: The pilots are with Noin and Howard on the bridge of the Peacemillion. The main topic of discussion is Zechs and the Lybra.  
  
"Now how shall we proceed?" Howard asked.  
  
Wufei's answer was calm and to the point. "Destroy Lybra. That simple."  
  
"But will that end the war though?" Sally asked.  
  
"No it won't. On Earth Trieze is getting ready to send a military force to space. The colonies will retaliate against that." Quatre reasoned.  
  
Duo wasn't so optimistic. "But we just can't leave Lybra!" Duo continued typing at his workstation then paused to raise his hand. "I agree we should destroy it."  
  
Trowa floated next to the two as he spoke." Sure thing Duo, but CAN we destroy it?  
  
Noin was in turmoil. "Are you saying Zechs is our enemy?"  
  
Duo was exasperated. "Are you saying that guy is our ALLY?"  
  
Noin stumbled. "Ah... well..."  
  
"Heero what's your opinion?" Howard inquired.  
  
"Zechs IS our enemy. And he feels the same way about us."  
  
Suddenly an alarm sounded and a tech's voice was heard over the PA system. "Howard! Enemy MS are approaching! It's a large fleet from the White Fang!"  
  
"There you have it! They've beaten us to the punch!" Duo exclaimed.  
  
Concerned about his Gundam's status Trowa turned to Howard. "Is Heavyarms ready?"  
  
"Yeah and Altron is too."  
  
"Okay let's go!" Wufei announced and began to make his way out to the hanger. He was quickly followed by Trowa and Quatre.  
  
Duo stopped next to Heero. "Let's go Heero!"  
  
"Sorry... Wing Zero won't be joining this battle," he said in a monotone.  
  
"Huh?" Duo was confused. "What's going on Heero?"  
  
In an eerily calm voice, he answered "Gotta take care of something."  
  
(Okay that's what you DID see. Now here's what you DID NOT see. Yes now the fanfic!)  
  
Heero woke up feeling miserable. He glanced over at his clock then felt the horrible sensation come to him again.  
  
"Oh no! Ah...ah-choo!" he sneezed. It was followed by a succession of sneezes. Finally he stopped. "Oh no. This CAN'T he happening. I DO NOT have a cold."  
  
He pilled the pillow over his head but was forced to sit up when he started coughing. He plopped back down on the bed.   
  
"We're in the middle of a shoot. I can't call in."  
  
Dizzy and miserable he forced himself out of bed and out of his room to his medicine cabinet. He rummaged through it looking at various bottles and pills.  
  
"Footpowder..." he pushed it aside "...sunblock..." he threw it back in "...cyanide..." Heero regarded the bottle with a grin. "I wondered where that went."  
  
He put the bottle back down and rummaged throughout the cabinet some more then stopped with a disgusted snort.   
  
"I don't believe it! I have EVERYTHING here but cold medicine!"  
  
Heero slammed the door shut and ran his fingers through his hair. Then something caught his eye. A single dosage amount of 6 hour full strength cold medicine. With a victorious grin, he reached for the bottle.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Duo walked into the staff room for his coffee. As expected Quatre was there silent as ever giving snarling looks to anyone who spoke to him who in this instance was as always the loving kind sensitive Trowa. Quatre usually would snap out of "hate mode" in an hour or so and Trowa and he would talk about going out to a bar or something that night or catch a movie with some girls but right NOW... Quatre was defiantly not a morning person and never talkative in the morning.  
  
In fact, he was ALWAYS quiet except during filming. Duo found it amusing that Trowa and Quatre's on camera personalities were reversed from their real ones.  
  
"Good morning Trowa!" Duo sang to him then as he passed Quatre "And Mr. Smiles!"  
  
Quatre eyed him evilly then growled deep in his throat as he drank his coffee. Trowa smiled sweetly at him in greeting and resumed his conversation about the ballet.  
  
"Oh man! We're outta sugar!" Duo said disgusted as he slammed his coffee cup down half full of the brown liquid on the counter after a desperate search for sweetener.  
  
Trowa looked up with a grin. 'I bought some on the way to work today along with some doughnuts. They're in my locker."  
  
"Great! I'll go get them!" Duo said and pranced out of the door in a strut as Wufei came in.  
  
"If you say it's a good morning Trowa, I'll shoot you." Wufei growled out as he walked across the room and plopped down in a chair with a sigh.  
  
"Bad night?" Quatre asked.  
  
"He SPEAKS!!!" Trowa cried in mock surprise.  
  
The two eyed a giggling Trowa before Wufei searched for an answer to Quatre's question. "That's the LEAST you could say."  
  
"I see..." Quatre looked up at the clock. "It's almost 11:00! I know Heero is ALWAYS late but isn't he more late than normal?"  
  
"Yeah you're right. Where do you think he..." Trowa's speech was stopped when he turned to look at the door.  
  
Heero or at least someone who looked like Heero was standing in the doorway cloaked in a black mask, black cape, black clothes, and a stylish black hat. Heero walked in clutching the cape up to hide his face, leaving only his blue eyes shimmering peculiarly as he eyed everyone in turn.  
  
With a huge awkward smile, he triumphantly yelled, "I am the terror that flaps in the night!"  
  
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei looked at each other with puzzled expressions and raised eyebrows then back at Heero as he jumped up on the tabletop. The black cape flowed around him as he swung it back and held his arms out in a strange victory motion. Behind them they heard a cup smash on the floor and Relena saying, "Oh my god..."  
  
Heero pointed at Relena and with an evil laugh he said "I am the cat who has kittens in your bed!"  
  
"Ewwww..."Trowa said recoiling as Relena grabbed Trowa around the shoulders and held on tight.  
  
"Protect me," she whimpered.  
  
He pointed at Quatre and Wufei next. "I am the man who calls the IRS on his tax cheating neighbors."  
  
"Crap! He knows," Wufei mumbled to himself.  
  
"I am the JUSTICE that serves out its iron penalty! I AM THE PILOT OF WING ZERO! MUHAHAHAHA!!!" Heero screamed in his own grandiose delusional world.  
  
"He's cracked..."Quatre muttered. "The Zero system has FINALLY taken its toll on him."  
  
"I TOLD them that LSD gas would go wrong eventually." Trowa said now protectively holding Relena.  
  
"You are all at MY mercy! Let's get dangerous." Heero said in a tone that sent shivers up their spines. Heero jumped off the table and stood next to Relena. "Come with me my sweet!"  
  
He began to pull on Relena's arm who was desperately trying to stay in the safety of Trowa's arms. Trowa pulled her back in return starting a tug of war pulling him out of his seat with Heero's next tug.  
  
"Quatre, we gotta do something! He's drugged up!" Trowa yelled as he pulled back on Relena's arm.  
  
"How and on what?" Quatre asked standing behind Trowa and pulling on Trowa's waist for added strength to their cause not to send Relena into Heero's private... whatever it was he was in right now. "Has he been drinking?"  
  
"No but close. Smells like a good dose of cough medicine to me." Wufei replied trying to get past the tug of war to get help noticing the familiar scent.  
  
Duo came in at that moment with the sugar and the doughnuts. He walked straight past Wufei and stopped briefly by Heero. "Hmm...Zorro." Then he stepped to the middle where Relena was being tugged back and forth. "Kinky..." he said with a grin and walked to the other side of the table picked up his coffee cup and sat down.  
  
Wufei looked on exasperated. "Aren't you gonna DO something?"  
  
Duo looked around and surveyed the scene then looked down at the bag of doughnuts and back up at the wide-eyed, desperate group.  
  
"Doughnut?"  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Duo and Quatre sternly held their ground in front of the writer and director on the set.  
  
"Can I talk to you about this script?" Quatre asked through clenched teeth.  
  
The director rolled his eyes. "Actors... what about it?"  
  
"We need to change it," Duo explained.  
  
"Why?" the writer inquired confused. "I thought you liked it."  
  
"But we've run into a slight problem." Duo said vaguely.  
  
"Problem? What problem?" the director asked clearly confused and annoyed.  
  
"I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!!!" a voice rang out from behind them.  
  
The four jumped as Heero came in view with a strange smile.  
  
"I hate it when he does that." Quatre mumbled.

  
"That..." Duo and Quatre said in one voice.  
  
"What the...?" the writer stated as Heero ran across the room laughing maniacally towards Relena.  
  
Relena looked over and screamed then tried to run for the door only to be stopped by Heero and was force to run in the other direction.  
  
"Get him away from me! HELP!" she screamed as she ran.  
  
"Someone restrain him and put him back to bed! Trowa! Wufei! Go help!" the director yelled at the two who watched Relena and Heero continue to run back and forth. "Now how do you suggest we change this script?"  
  
~~~END~~~~


End file.
